Human relationships often gets distorted when conflicts ensues. Conflicts among humans are undoubtedly inevitable, because of our diversities in a whole lot of things. Different backgrounds, beliefs, understanding, religion, opinions, views, interests, temperaments and most of the time, because of our ego, pride or dignity. All these are the major causes of conflicts among humans. Invariably, there’s no denying the fact that, at some point in our interpersonal relationships, we must experience conflict among ourselves. However human conflicts can be prevented or avoided if some necessary precautions are observed in our relationship with others. The first and best method of preventing conflicts anywhere is to “Avoid it”. Conflicts should as much as possible be avoided, because if allowed to occur and further degenerates, its consequences are very grievous and damaging. But how can we avoid conflict, since we possess different characters, traits and behaviours. Here are 5 different ways we can prevent and avoid conflicts in our relationship with each other. 1. UNDERSTANDING: Understanding is very essential in any relationship. It is like a lubricant, that lubricates the relationship and prevents any friction that may occur. Human understanding is very important in any relationship because, if you understand the character of the person you’re relating with, or what influences his or her character, that is, the temperament of the person, then you’ll know how to relate perfectly with him or her without much misunderstandings. The inevitability of understanding in any relationship, is because we all have different ideologies, opinions ,views, characters and temperaments. Understanding will help to harmonize all these differences in our relationship. For more on temperaments, please read: “WHY YOU ACT THE WAY YOU DO” by Tim Lahaye. 2. TOLERANCE: Our ability to tolerate others will definitely improve our quality of relationship with them. This is because, human beings are always susceptible to misbehaving at times, sometimes, knowingly or unknowingly. When this happens, we are often tempted to react negatively. But this is not always the best, because it can engender conflict. Rather than react aggressively, you can use soft tone to correct him or her, especially when the act was not premeditated. However, tolerant has a limit and both parties has to understand that, in order to avoid conflicts, and for mutual benefits of the relationship. Never take the other person for granted, but mutual respect for each other should guide the relationship. You should learn to tolerate other peoples opinions, views or interest. And avoid any imposition of opinions or personal interest on others, as this may be a threat to the relationship. 3. TREAT THE OTHER PERSON HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED: This is one good quality that if cultivated , can help strengthen and develop our relationship and dealings with others. If this policy is always observed and maintained in our relationships, i believe we would always have a very peaceful and lasting relationship. But its quiet unfortunate that most people lacks this principle, which has often been responsible for their poor relationship with others. A lot of people takes a lot of things for granted, and are never careful how they relate or deal with others. This character certainly brings about conflicts, especially if the other person is not tolerant. Doing to others how you wish they do to you, is one key ingredient of any successful human relationship. Every human being has dignity, and that dignity must be respected, in order to avoid conflicts and live peaceably with everyone. 4. AVOID CONFRONTATION: Confrontations is not always the best option to take in trying to maintain a healthy relationship. Wisdom and discretion should be the guiding principle in order to avoid conflicts. A lot of people are very aggressive and confrontational, they’re always too forward and action packed, and before they could realize it, conflict has already ensued, which could have been pacified if they were a little bit patient and tolerant. Wisdom is very necessary in relating with people, you may be intelligent and cunning, but applying wisdom in dealing with people, will definitely save you a whole lot of troubles. Confrontations should be the last option, when you’re finally being pushed to the wall or constantly taking for granted. Being tolerant and patient doesn’t mean you’re a coward, it means you’re wise and diplomatic and you know the right time to act. 5. TREAT EVERYONE LIKE A MILLION DOLLAR CUSTOMER: Everybody likes to be treated very well. Make everyone feel proud of themselves. Rather than make them feel inferior or incomplete. Everyone deserves respect, and should be treated like a million dollar customer. These will definitely make them feel very free to be with you, and also prevent any grudge or conflict.
Humans are diverse in nature, and our diversity as human beings is undoubtedly the bane behind our poor or lack of inter-personal relationship. We are diverse in race, culture, backgrounds, religion, beliefs, ideology, politics, and also in temperaments. Despite this, diversity is the beauty of human existence. All these differences is intended by nature to compliment each other and add value to life. But this purpose is yet to be realized, and it appears to have more negative consequences on human relationships than the positive outcome of harmonious and good inter-personal relationships. Definitely if everybody were of the same race, culture, backgrounds, religion, or share the same belief, ideology, views and possesses the same traits, there wouldn’t be much conflicts as we relate among ourselves. Obviously, it is because of theses differences and diversities that we often find it difficult to have a very free and lasting inter-personal relationship. Poor human inter-personal relationship skills has been one of the major causes of conflicts at the workplace. Perhaps, relationship between employees, between employers, between employers and employees, between a boss and his or her subordinates, or between a project manager and his project team members. Without a good inter-personal relationship skills at the workplace, then conflicts are definitely inevitable. Human beings possess different characters, demeanor, reactions, ideologies, beliefs and temperaments. The ability to understand this, and being able to harmonize all these differences brings about a harmonious relationship, and reduces or totally eliminates conflicts. One major rule that can prevent conflict is “TREATING OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED”. A lot people often neglect this rule, but it is the first conflict prevention method. In other words known as “Conflict Avoidance”. Humans are full of ego, and at one point or the other, we often want to display this ego, because nobody wants to be seen as inferior to others or be humiliated. So the best way to prevent any conflict that may result from this, is to treat the other person like you want to be treated. Give to everyone what belongs to them, and never trample on anyone’s right. Some people are extremely aggressive and do not have the patience to bear a little humiliation or denial of right. If we can adopt this method of, treating everyone how you want them to treat you, and believe that everyone deserves respect, and respect for human dignity, I’m confident that we will have less conflicts and the world would be a better place to live in.”AVOID BEING CONFRONTATIONAL”. A lot of people are very confrontational, they’re extremely aggressive and quick to attack. But confrontation is not always the best approach in preventing or resolving conflicts, especially in situations were you’ll become a victim if the conflicts ensues. Wisdom and discretion should be the guiding principle. Wisdom should be applied in dealing, managing and relating with people. Sometimes you don’t need to be confrontational, because confrontation can engender conflict, even in situations where a little patience and tolerance would have pacified it. Those who are peaceful patient, and tolerant actually makes best relationships, while immediate confrontation and being too aggressive can jeopardize the relationship. Confrontation should be an option only when you’re being pushed to the wall or your tolerant and patience is being frequently taken for granted. Confrontation is not always the best method in trying to avoid conflicts at the workplace. So when next your boss or colleague acts in an unpleasant manner, avoid being confrontational, in order to maintain the existing relationship and avoid conflicts. It is a sure way of preventing conflicts and maintaining your dignity. Being tolerant and patient does not demean your personality, it only means you’re being diplomatic, discretionary, wise and peaceful. You definitely need to bury your ego, in order to maintain a peaceful and long lasting inter-personal relationship. Self-interest or Self-centredness is another factor that hinders a peaceful and inter-personal relationship. Being over-conscious of yourself and always try to exhibit this character, will definitely ruin your inter-personal relationship, and consequently leads to conflicts. Avoid being over-conscious of yourself and try to carry others along, in order to sustain the existing relationship. Always look for avenues to help others actualize their dreams, because when you do that, you’re unknowingly making a great impact on them, and influencing them through your inter-personal skills. Fore more on this topic, please read my post on: SOURCES OF CONFLICTS AT THE WORKPLACE AND HOW TO MANAGE IT!